Hi lucinda! I am new to this site and I know that it has been a while since you have written this so I hope you are feeling better. I can understand what you are going through and I would like to say that you are most definitely not alone! To connect to others, you must connect to yourself (I know.. cheesy) and the only way to connect with yourself is to accept your emotions and learn to love even the shit ones. No one on this planet will ever figure themselves out, because the human mind and soul is something that will always change. Stick to your morals and beliefs, and you will be able to filter out negativity and accept the wonderful abilities you possess!
-much love, maria 🙂